But there wouldn't be books like "The 4-Hour Workweek" or "5 Minute Abs" if these endeavoring authors didn't at least have some grasp of the notion that people with real jobs (that is, people who have not made a fortune selling bogus advice books) don't really have a lot of free time to, well, read advice books.
In the spirit of this, I've decided to help you all out and summarize some popular advice books in... are you ready for this? Three words or less. Because I am just such a nice person like that.
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| The Science of Skinny |
Eat Vegetables, Dumbass.
Although I have to wonder about the subconscious implications of the fact that the cover apparently is obsessively measuring the waist circumference of a string bean. NOT SKINNY ENOUGH, BEAN.
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| What to Expect When You're Expecting |
Hopefully, A Baby.
Unless there was some truth to that old jump rope chant... "it's a boy, it's a girl, it's an outer space creature... oh, crap."
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| He's Just Not That Into You |
Call You, Maybe?
But probably not.
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| Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man |
Gorgeous, Don't Argue.
Just be ladylike and keep your mouth shut... except for when you... you know what I mean, baby, 'cause now I got you thinking like me.
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| How to Win Friends & Influence People |
Mostly, You Lie.
Hopefully you can influence them to believe you. I think it works better if you get them to think like a man first.
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| The Omnivore's Dilemma |
Bacon or Sausage?
Luckily, the Big Slam comes with both.
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| Who Moved My Cheese? |
I ate it.
Who leaves cheese unattended?
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| What Color Is Your Parachute? |
Your Job Sucks.
Maybe we can help you find a new one? If not, at least you just helped us keep ours by purchasing this book!
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| The 4-Hour Work Week |
Collecting Social Security.
Because that's the only way this is going to happen, and we all know those lines can be long. Direct Deposit, dude. It will reduce your work week another 95%.
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| Organizing from the Inside Out |
Clean your shit.
At least, I hope your house/desk being being messy and unorganized is the focus of this book, because the only other possibility is that they want you to alphabetize your organs.
Congratulations, you've (sort of) just read ten books in forty seconds, and are well on your way to bettering yourself!
Sure, there is the minor issue concerning the fact that I have not actually read any of these books, but were you really going to read them either?
I'm happy to take three-word summary suggestions on any other books you'd like to (sort of) read. Just leave a comment.
